Please fasten your seat belts... OR ELSE

Back! Won't go into where I've been coz thats not what this is about. Almost.

I've been in India over the past week and a half, of which, the last 5 days have been spent traversing the south... well Chennai (oh so hot), Mysore (oh so beautiful), Bangalore (oh such a beautiful airport - it's a pity it's not in Bangalore and it's terribly planned).

Given all of this I've been flying a fair bit. I want to share some of my pet flying peeves with anyone who'll listen...

1) WHY OH WHY do the fat men always sit next to me?
2) WHY OH WHY do they smell?
3) WHY OH WHY must they switch their phones on the very split second the wheels have touch the tarmac?
4) WHY OH WHY must they push and shove while the doors are still closed and there's nowhere to go?
5) WHY OH WHY must they push and shove even after the fucking door is open?
6) WHY OH WHY must they leer at the poor little hostie who's smiling on the outside and seething on the inside. If you leer, be subtle fatty!

WHY OH WHY!