Well... at least Lord Ganesha prefers Air India!

The logic is sound. Lord Ganesha - the elephant headed remover of obstacles (the irony will be self-evident by the end of this note!) prefers rats as his vehicle of choice. Rats prefer to Air India as their vehicle of choice (proven - I'll get to that in a second). Hence Lord Ganesha prefers Air India.

As if the punch up detailed in the last entry in this space wasn't enough, some good souls pointed out a couple of other recently reported incidents. And this is where the rats come in!

Incident 1 -
147 passengers were deplaned in Amritsar when a Toronto bound aircraft was found to have a rat (unfortunately for the rat he wasn't one disguised as a human - but there were plenty of those on this flight as well!).

Incident 2 -
A week after that 412 passengers were deplaned in Calicut from a Riyadh bound flight (maybe thats a good thing!) when a rodent was spotted on that one! Again - this was a rodent-shaped rodent. The human-shaped ones didn't create any panic (though they're the real trouble-makers). And then they flew an empty plane down from Mumbai so that the stranded passengers could take their trip to Riyadh. Quite rich for a bankrupt airline!

What surprises me is that we haven't had some religeous group going up in arms defending the rights of the average rodent to fly in view of them having close connections with Lord Ganesha. Sound logic that too!

Bring it on Shiv Sena / MNS! If there's anyone who can top AI on the outrageously-and-infuriatingly-stupid index - it's you guys!

There's drama in the air!

In the midst of all the tragedies during the last week (floods in the Philippines, Vietnam and India, the earthquake(s) in Indonesia, the tsunami in Samoa and the landslides in Sicily), Air India took some time out to provide the world with some comic relief (and yet another reason to stop flying that ridiculous airline).

There was a mid-air scuffle. Now this would've been an "oh-ok-that-sucks" moment if it was between 2 passengers. It would've been a "really?-that's-terrible!" moment if it was between a passenger and one of the crew members. But it was between the crew and the pilots!!! Thats what makes it such a "What-the-fuck!!????" moment worth blogging about!!! (BCT - borrowing your term for this one if you dont mind!)

So this flight was going from Sharjah to Delhi via Lucknow - which in itself sounds like trouble - and somewhere en route to Lucknow, over Pakistan (unnamed sources blamed the ISI for the scuffle but even they couldn't have come up with something so stupid... and thats saying something!!!), the incident ensued. Facts are unclear (surprise surprise!!) but there are misconduct claims and sexual harassment allegations flying around with a couple of people walking away with bruises. All of them ended up without jobs by the end of that!

Now there are a few very disturbing things about this whole thing:
1) that the pilot(s) would actually beckon a stewardess into the cockpit (oh - the double meanings I have to resist right now!!) and molest her!!! WHAT THE.... was he thinking? That he'd get away with it?!!!???!!!!!????
2) even if he did (molest her).... which, in my opinion, should make him eligible for capital punishment (yeah - I'm extreme that way!), if I was a part of the crew, I'd wait till we were on the ground before punching him up (and punch him up I would). I don't want to piss off the only person in the air who is likely to get me to ground in one piece, still in a state to be able to knock his teeth out.
3) apparently - when the plane landed in Lucknow, most of the passengers were so freaked out - they deplaned and took a train or something! But no one reported the matter! IDIOTS!

Net - Air India explores new depths. The Maharajah needs to be retired. And for heaven's sake... DON'T FLY AIR INDIA. India has a couple of other world class airlines, but Air India isn't one of them. Pity they carry the country's name!

Sayonara!!

My grandfather, Hiranand Tikamdas Gajria passed away this morning in Nasik. He was 89.

Since our religious practices don't leave any room for eulogies, I decided to put mine here.

One more bright light from the generation that sacrificed so much through their youth to ensure their children and grandchildren had it good has just been put out. Ba, as we fondly call him, comes from that generation of our family that still grew up in Thatta - a village near Karachi in Pakistan. The generation that saw the tough partition days when he moved his family to Mumbai but himself headed to the middle east in pursuit of work. He moved up the ranks in a trading company in Bahrain, but that wasn't good enough for him. He helped his younger brother (who passed on earlier this year as well) set up his own stationary business which thrives even today. He was a pioneer.

He was also an explorer. He smelled another opportunity all the way in the far east. He headed to Japan. Just like that. This, at a time, when Japan was not so foreigner friendly. English was even more uncommon then than it is now! He picked up Japanese, fell in love with Sushi and everything Japanese.

During those years he and my grandmother would make annual trips to Mumbai which we looked forward to eagerly. Because that meant Meiji Almond Chocolates, the latest Video Games (even though they were mostly in Japanese!) and Japanese Apples! Oh and also watching him smoke his pipe every morning was another novelty that came with it.

When he retired and moved back to India for good (early 90s), he made it a point to stay fit and mobile. He and I'd head out to the Race Course for a walk / jog every evening and get back in time to watch Friends on TV. He never understood why I liked driving to my jog! But we did!

He read the newspaper like no one else does! Every word on every page! The Times of India AND the Economic times! He loved a lively debate on what the issue with the Japanese Banking System was, whether inflation is really a good thing - he was a great student of Economics! He always knew more than me.

In his last years, he turned to religion. He turned vegetarian. Danced at his grandsons' weddings. Cradled his great grand daughters. And ate a lot of ice cream I am told! :)

I am sorry I couldn't spend more time with you towards the end. I will miss you.

You lived a life that was full. And you did it your way!

Sayonara Ba! I know you'll be watching over us!

The "Pedestrian" Pilgrimage

Finished another book today. The Pilgrimage. Paolo Coelho.

Note - this is the first Paolo Coelho book I read (no I haven't read the Alchemist - and after this - don't intend to!). And I was disappointed.

When I read the description, I was excited. It's about Paolo's journey through Spain on the legendary road of San Tiago towards Santiago de Compustela. I was expecting a rich account of what he saw through his journey and his spiritual upliftment through real life experiences.

Instead, it's a book where the author can't get enough of himself and how spiritually superior he turned out to be! It's a book about Paolo trying to attain his "sword" (maybe I'm not smart enough - but I think this was a spiritual reference to his attainment of kind of a "nirvana") by completing this 700km journey on foot. He has a guide - Petrus - who leads him into a number of other-worldly challenges (like repeatedly fighting a rabid dog - a reference to his personal demons I think) and how he overcomes.... well.... everything.

It's just a self-help money-spinner in my opinion.

To be fair - it's tough writing a book about one's own spirituality without sounding like you're calling yourself God. But then one's own spirituality is such a personal thing - if you really believe in it, don't write a book about it and end up sounding like a pompous ass.

Net - I didn't enjoy it!

Need to stop by at the book store for another one tomorrow!

Over the edge!

Phew! I've been reading Over the Egde of the World for a long long time!! First - thanks to my lovely sister-in-law who doesn't even know that her sister passed her book on to me! So thanks D!

Now - I haven't taken long with this book because it's boring - I've just been lazy with my reading!!! But hospitals provide a particularly reading conducive environment strangely enough!!

The book, by Laurence Bergreen details the (mis)adventures of Magellan in leading the first ever circumnavigation of the globe! Bergreen, apparently, has also written biographies of diverse set of figures like Al Capone, Louis Armstrong and so on (haven't read any of the others, but after this one - I think I will!).

The scene - early 1500s - a time when the Portugese and the Spanish were both looking for world domination, an important component of which would be the domination of Spice Trade. Now Magellan, an ambitious Portugese explorer, was looking for backing for an expedition to look for the Spice Islands via a route never before explored - Across the Atlantic, around the southern tip of South America and across the Pacific to the Spice Islands (present day Brunei and surrounding islands). He was rebuffed by the Portugese king and so defected to Spain, where he found the backing to set out on such an expedition.

The journey started with 5 ships and more than 250 men but ended with 1 ship and 18 people on board. Even Magellan was killed in a rather unnessecary war in Mactan in southern Philippines.

Bergreen's book is based on records from the journey, mainly the account maintained by Pigafetta - the Italian who was on the expedition as the official chronicler. He details the ups and downs of the journey, including what happened to the 240 odd people who didn't make it, Magellan's death and the other 4 vessels. His account of the lands and people they encountered along the way is stunning!

It's an amazing account to read at a time when circumnavigating the globe is just a couple of flights away - even I've done that a couple of times flying from Singapore to New York to Frankfurt to Singapore!!

The circus that is GMA!

(Photo taken from Manuel Quezon iii's blog)

GMA(Gloria Macapagal Arroyo), president of the Republic of the Philippines has got to be one of the most stupid, insensitive and un-savvy political leaders of our times. She makes Laloo Prasad Yadav and Sarah Palin look Mensa-esque!

So here's what happened - She goes to the US, apparently, to meet Obama. Ends up eating a US$20,000 dinner with her cronies at an expensive NY restaurant. Gets caught out doing that by someone who Tweets. What ensues is a load of crap explanations by a bunch of people who are either really stupid or think the rest of the world is.

As she heads out, she's carrying a lot of dead baggage with her. Including Senator (and ex-film star) Lito Lapid who, as reported in the Inquirer said that he "had personally asked Ms Arroyo to take him along for the meeting with Obama at the Oval Office". He admitted he would do anything to have a photograph with the most powerful man in the world. He said, "I hope I’d be lucky enough to be chosen among the five that would be allowed to accompany the President when she meets Obama. This will be my first time ever to meet a US president in person because I might not have the chance anymore. So I asked the President herself to sign me up on this trip". (So Lito was really on a celeb spotting trip! On the upside - at least he's honest! And dumb!!)

Then there was the tragic passing of ex-President Cory Aquino. Apparently, right after GMA was informed about the death, she had a meeting with Hillary Clinton. She was so star-struck that she missed mentioning Cory's passing to Hillary. Hillary only found out a couple of hours later from a Filipina reporter! So after her rendez-vous with Hillary, GMA quickly recorded a rushed condolence message before heading out to NY for dinner!!

And what a dinner it was. She fed 15-20 people at a cost of US$20,000 (I know!!! HOLY COW and all that!!!). And this wasn't even an official dinner. So either the tax-payer is paying for this dinner or she gets paid a shit load of money! Neither should be happening! Heck - the dinner shouldn't be happening. For Pete's sake, a national icon has just passed and you're the president of the country!!! Dinner was at Le Cirque (very ironically - the Circus!) and was first reported on Twitter!!!

And then the cover ups! This is the best part!!! On one side you have her press secretary Cerge Remonde insisting that $20,000 is not expensive because "after all you're dining with the President of the Philippines". On the other you have senator Lapid saying he didn't understand what the big deal was. Apparently he doesn't like French food because he can't cope with all the cutlery changes between courses! One other official also made matters worse by saying that wasn't even the best expensive meal they had (which means there were others!).

While all of this is happening, the average Filipino is struggling to buy a 10 Peso sachet of detergent to wash her clothes. In other words - GMA - you're screwing with me!!

The final - and biggest - irony of this all is something that happened at the very start of the trip. GMA signed an executive order creating a "Local Hunger Task Force"!!!

*SIGH*

PS: Some people say that Obama took his wife to a play in NY and spent thousands of dollars flying from DC to NY on a private jet and all that - so whats the big deal!!! Well - that still doesn't make it right!!!

The Influenza Conspiracy Theory!

Yet another attempt at reviving this space.

All of these flu strains the world seems to be uncovering over the last few years... bollocks I say. It's just a bloody sinister marketing ploy by the vegetable growers of the world. They're converting you to vegetarianism - one animal at a time!

First there was the mad-cow disease. Ok - so this isn't exactly a flu. But let's park minor technicalities. This was first discovered in England (who I believe will beat Australia in the Ashes and are generally the source of trouble). People stopped eating cows (well... some people did. and yet more stopped temporarily). In connected news, the women of England were also less satisfied by their partners' prowess in bed at the time. I wonder if there's a connection!? Hmmm. Anyway - So that's a hunk of beef out!

Then there was Bird Flu. When this broke out, it was like this childhood dream a lot of us have had (I know at least 2 people who've had this dream as kids) - there's a bird thats chasing (does flying after a running person count as chasing???!!) you and you're running and running and running and the big black bird (think XXXXL crow with a shiny black beak) is flying and flying and flying. And then you tire and stumble. And the bird is upon you. Then you wake up (Damn suspense films!). Anyway, point is - people stopped eating chicken. KFC was getting screwed (as they ought to). And more and more people adopted what someone wise once said (still says in fact)... Fowl is foul.

So Cows - check, Chicken - check.

Now there's Swine Flu. Love how they don't call it Pig Flu. It's like someone decided - hey let's add some emotion into this disease (see - this is all a marketing ploy) - pig is not punchy enough. what's another word.... hog.. naah.... piglet... naaah..... AHA..... SWINE!!! And then the pigs were rescued.

So Cows - check. Chicken - check. Pigs - check.

Coming in 2010.... FISH FLU. Affectionately known as FF - Fully F****d!

It's all a bloody conspiracy!