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Death by Nursery Rhymes

They say that your childhood years really form the person you are when you grow up. If that's true, there's a potential killer in all of us.

Ever wondered why nursery rhymes are so morbid? Why did Jack, after his romantic walk up the hill to fecth a pail of water, break his head? Why does the bough break so that the cradle, baby and all fall? Why did Humpty Dumpty not just have an ordinary fall, but a "great" one? Why did Little Miss Muppet suffer from arachnophobia? Why were the 3 blind mice blind??

Most nursery rhymes (about half of them) are more than 200 years old and come from Britain with a very interesting history - mainly linked to dark times like the wars in Victorian England and the all consuming plagues.

Humpty Dumpty, commonly drawn up as an egg, was actually a cannon during the English Civil War (1642-49). It was mounted on top of a church wall to defend against the seige that the city of Colchester was under. The church tower was hit by the enemy and the cannon had a "great fall. And all the King's horses and all the King's men could not put Humpty Dumpty together again".

Ring a Ring O'Roses is believed to be a reference to the Great Plague of London. The Ring of Roses was a symptom of the plagues (a round red rash) and the smell from "a pocket full of posies (another flower)" would conceal the smell from the scores of dying victims. The sneezing sound ("atishoo, atishoo") is the sneezing just before the grim reaper strikes. And then "we all fall down".

There are multiple theories on Jack and Jill. One (and the most popular one) is that this originated in France and refers to Louis XVI who was beheaded (lost his crown) followed by his Queen Marie Antoinette (who came tumbling after).

And my favorite one. The 3 blind mice! The "farmer's wife" refers to Queen Mary I, otherwise known as "Bloody Mary" (yep - that's where the drink gets its name). She was the "farmer's wife" because of the massive farming estates that her husband (Philip of Spain) owned. The 3 blind mice were three noblemen who were plotting against the Queen, although she didn't have them dismembered with a "carving knife", but she did have them burnt at the stake. Guess that just didn't fit the rhyme!

The list goes on, but here's a case to bring your kids up to Dr Dre and Snoop Dogg. They might do less damage!

Un film Je t'aime

Another movie review... Paris, Je t'aime. I'd give it 4.3879 stars out of 5.

Brilliant concept. Its a collection of 18 short stories (they had planned 21 but 2 of the stories didn't quite "fit in" and one guy just didn't show up to shoot his story!) told in French by internationally acclaimed directors (including Gurinder Chada of Bride and Predudice and Bend it like Beckham fame, Gus Van Sant - Goodwill Hunting, the Coen brothers - Fargo, Tom Tykwer - Run Lola Run and other big names). The cast is about 50 strong with big names like Steve Buscemi (Mr Pink in Reservoir Dogs), Juliette Binoche (Bleu of the Trois Coleurs trilogy reviewed in an earlier post), Natalie Portman, Elijah Wood and a whole bunch of others.

The stories are based in different districts of Paris which combine to form a brilliant ode to the city of lights. The stories are very wide ranging - right from inter-racial love (white man / muslim girl angle as told by Gurinder Chada) to vampires and from gay relationships to lonliness! Each of them is about 10 mins long - some bizarre stories told with a dose of the grandoise, others - simple and told intimately. My favorite ones were the ones directed by Gus Van Sant - high on irony and simplicity and also because it has Steve Buscemi and another one by Vincenzo Natali about Vampires starring Elijah Wood because it's just... really weird!

All in all - a brilliant composition of short films directed by some of the best contemporary directors around with some of the best contemporary actors around. It's a DVD you want to own.

As a parting note - I wonder what would happen if they tried a similar concept with the top directors of India and made a film on Bombay... Mani Ratnam, Vishal Bharadwaj, Kaizad Gustad, Vidhu Vinod Chopra, Farhan Akhtar, Ashutosh Gowariker, Dev Benegal and Nagesh Kukunoor along with Karan Johar and Sanjay Leela Bhansali thrown in for good measure!!? Would love to see that some day!!!

The Maneki Neko Conspiracy

Firstly - what the hell is a Maneki Neko?

Have you ever seen those extremely annoying toy cats in a lot of Chinese stores and food joints in Singapore. They just keep mindlessly waving at you with the monotony to drive a completely sane person to wrist slashing. Those same annoying cats are called Maneki Neko.

Now no one really knows the real origin of Maneki Neko, but allow me to share with you the results of some of my research which concludes that MANEKI NEKO is a MARKETING CONSPIRACY

1. They're not a Chinese concept to begin with. They're Japanese. Although I'm guessing most of those ugly plastic figures have a "Made in China" sticker plastered to their anterior portions. Japanese innovation - so it must work. Low cost because they're made in Chinese sweatshops. This is the stuff that large corporations dream of.
2. Maneki Neko come in left hand wave or right hand wave. Kinda like cars. Trouble is that there are different beliefs on what each hand wave brings the possessor of this feline figurine. One belief is that the right hand cats bring in wealth and good luck while the lefties bring in customers. Another belief is exactly the opposite (how convenient!). Yet another belief is that the lefties are best for drinking establishments and the righties for other joints. This has to be a marketing ploy to build consumption.
3. They come in different colors, each of which, apparently, have different meanings. The most popular one is the Tricolored one - white with random black and orange patches (modelled after Japanese bobtail cats and believed to be especially lucky). Next up is the white one - virgin pure! Guess if this works for you, you get laid and then buy the Tricolored one!? Then the Black ones - this is the best - they're especially popular among women because - and I quote - "they keep away stalkers"!!! My personal theory why women love the black ones is coz - Once you go black, you can't go back! I'm sure they also have longer waving arms. There's a couple of other uninteresting ones as well. Customized offerings for your unique luck need.
4. Over the years they added additional features like a coin, a bib and a bell around the poor cat's neck and added some random significance these. I call this Product Upgrades or Premium Line Extensions.

I came across at least 14 different thoeries on their origin, but my favorite one is as follows -
One theory ties Maneki Neko's origin, or at least its growth in popularity, to the rise of the new Meiji government. In its attempts to westernize Japanese society the Meiji government banned overtly sexual talismans then popular, often displayed prominently in brothels. With these popular items gone, Maneki Neko soon appeared in their place as a substitute charm, their beckoning gesture perhaps in imitation of a beckoning woman.
Since when did westernization mean elimination of overt sexual talismans? Clearly the Meiji government was never exposed to a 50 cent video or a Rihanna gyrating with Jay-Z.

If I was working with the Maneki Neko making and selling corporation, I'd take the innovation on them to town:
1. Talking / Singing cats. Seems like there's a correlation between how annoying they are and the luck they rake in.
2. Vibrators / Other sex toys for women. Only a cat understands a...p.... well.. cat.

Have a host of other ideas. If someone from this corporation is interested in more ideas, contact me at wavingcats@annoyme.com

A tale of 3 films

Watched 2 very interesting films and one utterly disappointing one over the weekend.

Started with A Scanner Darkly. Now what got me interested in the film were a couple of things - (a) its an indy film which is sorta semi reality, semi graphic novel. Its animated, but not really. Was shot in digital with real actors and then animated using a special technique called cel-shading with an interpolated rotoscope (thanks Wikipedia for making me sound smart). (b) It has a great cast - Keanu Reeves, Winona Ryder, Woody Harrelson, Robert Downey Jr and Rory Cochrane. To add to that, George Clooney is one of the executive producers. The movie is based on a novel by the same name by Philip K. Dick and is set at a time in the near future - "7 years from now" in a society that has gone downhill from where we are (surprise surprise!!). The scourge of life then is substance D - a drug that has taken over the city. Bob Arctor (Keanu) is an undercover narcotics agent who, in the line of duty, gets hooked onto the substance himself. He is then put into rehab. As the plot unravels, it gets more interesting (I'd kill the movie for anyone if I said more than this about the plot). All in all, a very interesting watch if only for how the movie has been shot.

Next up was the utter disappointment - Stranger than fiction. The movie was even stranger than that. It has Will Ferrel and Dustin Hoffman - a great cast doing a shit film. Harold Crick (Will Ferrel) is an IRS agent who is kinda obsessive compulsive (interesting angle, but the movie does nothing with it... unlike "As good as it gets"). He suddenly starts hearing a voice in his head narrating his life (interesting angle again - could have gone down the psychological path a la "Being John Malkovich" but doesn't). 2 things happen - (a) he meets a chick and falls in love with her, (b) he discovers he is about to die, (c) he meets a literature expert (Dustin Hoffman) who does.. well... nothing. This movie peters out to a lame ending and is eminently forgettable. It's kinda caught between a chick flick and a hard place.

Last was a breath of fresh air. A Singaporean film - Mee Pok Man. This film was made in 1994-5, directed by Eric Khoo - a nascent Singapore film industry's leading light. Its about a.. well.. a Mee Pok Man (Fishball Noodle Seller) who falls in love with one of his frequent customers - a prostitute and goes on to paint a beautiful collage of their touching, sometimes-funny-sometimes-bizzare love affair. The film deals with the little known seedy underbelly of Singapore and is full of surprises. Its been shot in 35mm, so don't look for a full on gloassy film. It has a very short film look to it. Definitely worth a watch if you live/have ever lived in Singapore.