The Maneki Neko Conspiracy

Firstly - what the hell is a Maneki Neko?

Have you ever seen those extremely annoying toy cats in a lot of Chinese stores and food joints in Singapore. They just keep mindlessly waving at you with the monotony to drive a completely sane person to wrist slashing. Those same annoying cats are called Maneki Neko.

Now no one really knows the real origin of Maneki Neko, but allow me to share with you the results of some of my research which concludes that MANEKI NEKO is a MARKETING CONSPIRACY

1. They're not a Chinese concept to begin with. They're Japanese. Although I'm guessing most of those ugly plastic figures have a "Made in China" sticker plastered to their anterior portions. Japanese innovation - so it must work. Low cost because they're made in Chinese sweatshops. This is the stuff that large corporations dream of.
2. Maneki Neko come in left hand wave or right hand wave. Kinda like cars. Trouble is that there are different beliefs on what each hand wave brings the possessor of this feline figurine. One belief is that the right hand cats bring in wealth and good luck while the lefties bring in customers. Another belief is exactly the opposite (how convenient!). Yet another belief is that the lefties are best for drinking establishments and the righties for other joints. This has to be a marketing ploy to build consumption.
3. They come in different colors, each of which, apparently, have different meanings. The most popular one is the Tricolored one - white with random black and orange patches (modelled after Japanese bobtail cats and believed to be especially lucky). Next up is the white one - virgin pure! Guess if this works for you, you get laid and then buy the Tricolored one!? Then the Black ones - this is the best - they're especially popular among women because - and I quote - "they keep away stalkers"!!! My personal theory why women love the black ones is coz - Once you go black, you can't go back! I'm sure they also have longer waving arms. There's a couple of other uninteresting ones as well. Customized offerings for your unique luck need.
4. Over the years they added additional features like a coin, a bib and a bell around the poor cat's neck and added some random significance these. I call this Product Upgrades or Premium Line Extensions.

I came across at least 14 different thoeries on their origin, but my favorite one is as follows -
One theory ties Maneki Neko's origin, or at least its growth in popularity, to the rise of the new Meiji government. In its attempts to westernize Japanese society the Meiji government banned overtly sexual talismans then popular, often displayed prominently in brothels. With these popular items gone, Maneki Neko soon appeared in their place as a substitute charm, their beckoning gesture perhaps in imitation of a beckoning woman.
Since when did westernization mean elimination of overt sexual talismans? Clearly the Meiji government was never exposed to a 50 cent video or a Rihanna gyrating with Jay-Z.

If I was working with the Maneki Neko making and selling corporation, I'd take the innovation on them to town:
1. Talking / Singing cats. Seems like there's a correlation between how annoying they are and the luck they rake in.
2. Vibrators / Other sex toys for women. Only a cat understands a...p.... well.. cat.

Have a host of other ideas. If someone from this corporation is interested in more ideas, contact me at wavingcats@annoyme.com