3 things I hate about Harry Potter

Ok - Don't get me wrong. I like the series and all that. But there are some things that pissed me off in the course of the adventures of this young wizard!

1) HERMIONE THE HERMAPHRODITE. I can think of 3 different girls from my own version of Hogwarts (well it was Christ Church School, Byculla, Mumbai - no wands allowed. Brooms optional - but we'll let that pass, won't we) who annoyed the poo out of me. Teachers pets. Hands always raised before the question is done. Prim, proper and haters of all things male. Didn't really get along with the cooler chicks either. They're the kind of people who should be cursed to a life devoid of sex - with men or women. We have some of them at work as well... but we won't go there. Clearly, school scarred me (wasn't a lightning shaped scar on my forehead though).

2) HARRY "PRE-PUBESCENT-WHINING-PRICK" POTTER (EXCLUSIVE TO BOOK 5). JK got it wrong in Order of the Phoenix. Strayed close too close to reality with Harry's pre-pubescent issues. She might as well have called him WHINY POTTER in that book... Boo-hoo... nobody loves me. No one will snog me.... Kinda reminds me of the WORMS song...

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
Guess I'll go eat worms, Long, thin, slimy ones; Short, fat, juicy ones,
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms.

Down goes the first one, down goes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.
Up comes the first one, up comes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.

... except WHINEY POTTER wasn't funny! On the upside, it's good JK never got to Harry and Ron discovering masturbation!

3) QUIDDITCH AND ITS SEXUAL CONNOTATIONS. Bunch of wizards flying around on brooms, chasing a snatch (yep - I know it's snitch, but you know the connection I'm trying to make!). And those who're not chasing the snatch are called beaters... like they've given up chasing snatches... resorted to beating the monkey!??!! OK JK!

Feel free to add.

Sport treats galore!

Now here's the sporting action I'm looking forward to for the next few months...

1) Cricket... India is up one test with one to go. England is going to come hard at us. Praying for another test ton from Tendulkar at the Oval. All of this followed by the one dayers and of course the 20-20 world cup.

2) Cricket (again)... P&G is in the semi-finals of the Singapore Cricket Association Knock Out tournament (field of 20 teams and we're in the last 4). We play Indi CC or Polaris (both very formidable teams) on Aug 19. Plus the Super League games in Sep/Oct to determine whether we're really getting promoted to Div 3 next year.

3) Soccer... It's EPL time again. Watched a cracking lung opener last night between ManU and Chelsea. The reds prevailed of course in a bizarre penalty shoot out.

4) F1... this one's tricky. I don't like Hamilton (he's English) or Alonso (he's a shit). Ferrari has a lot of work to do to catch up. But this is shaping up to be a cracking season with more things going wrong than right for the leading teams.

PS: It's good to be back on blogosphere.