Ok - Don't get me wrong. I like the series and all that. But there are some things that pissed me off in the course of the adventures of this young wizard!
1) HERMIONE THE HERMAPHRODITE. I can think of 3 different girls from my own version of Hogwarts (well it was Christ Church School, Byculla, Mumbai - no wands allowed. Brooms optional - but we'll let that pass, won't we) who annoyed the poo out of me. Teachers pets. Hands always raised before the question is done. Prim, proper and haters of all things male. Didn't really get along with the cooler chicks either. They're the kind of people who should be cursed to a life devoid of sex - with men or women. We have some of them at work as well... but we won't go there. Clearly, school scarred me (wasn't a lightning shaped scar on my forehead though).
2) HARRY "PRE-PUBESCENT-WHINING-PRICK" POTTER (EXCLUSIVE TO BOOK 5). JK got it wrong in Order of the Phoenix. Strayed close too close to reality with Harry's pre-pubescent issues. She might as well have called him WHINY POTTER in that book... Boo-hoo... nobody loves me. No one will snog me.... Kinda reminds me of the WORMS song...
Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
Guess I'll go eat worms, Long, thin, slimy ones; Short, fat, juicy ones,
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms.
Down goes the first one, down goes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.
Up comes the first one, up comes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.
... except WHINEY POTTER wasn't funny! On the upside, it's good JK never got to Harry and Ron discovering masturbation!
3) QUIDDITCH AND ITS SEXUAL CONNOTATIONS. Bunch of wizards flying around on brooms, chasing a snatch (yep - I know it's snitch, but you know the connection I'm trying to make!). And those who're not chasing the snatch are called beaters... like they've given up chasing snatches... resorted to beating the monkey!??!! OK JK!
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5 comments:
Hey for all those who dont know - Im responsible for the lightning shaped scar on N's forhead. So much so for brotherly love. Wat say dude.
That worms song is genius! But seriously man, you need to get a grip on your quidditch fantasy.
bro. yes you're responsible for the scarred forehead... not lightning shaped tho!!!
mahog - im telling you... this whole harry potter business is devious and twisted. Not suited to the conservative asian (south/southeast) way of life. hrmmph!
Hello!!! My SecId pls!!???!!
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