Please fasten your seat belts... OR ELSE

Back! Won't go into where I've been coz thats not what this is about. Almost.

I've been in India over the past week and a half, of which, the last 5 days have been spent traversing the south... well Chennai (oh so hot), Mysore (oh so beautiful), Bangalore (oh such a beautiful airport - it's a pity it's not in Bangalore and it's terribly planned).

Given all of this I've been flying a fair bit. I want to share some of my pet flying peeves with anyone who'll listen...

1) WHY OH WHY do the fat men always sit next to me?
2) WHY OH WHY do they smell?
3) WHY OH WHY must they switch their phones on the very split second the wheels have touch the tarmac?
4) WHY OH WHY must they push and shove while the doors are still closed and there's nowhere to go?
5) WHY OH WHY must they push and shove even after the fucking door is open?
6) WHY OH WHY must they leer at the poor little hostie who's smiling on the outside and seething on the inside. If you leer, be subtle fatty!

WHY OH WHY!

Piss Off

Most men will be able to relate to this in one way or another. For women, this might be insightful (and at the same time totally pointless).

At the outset, let me establish that this post is about men's urinals and the various types of behaviours one is exposed to in this sanctum. I say that urinals ought to be the most uninteresting places in the world, but much to my chagrin, they aren't. So if you don't want to read about men peeing, then stop here. Else, let me take you into my view (don't get me wrong about the view) of what should be a hallowed space.

There are many different types of pee'ers among men. And a lot of them piss me off (said with tongue firmly in cheek).

1) Those who use the urinals as an extension of their workspace:
This person will have his phone precariously poised between his head (cocked - no pun intended - to one side) and his left shoulder while taking aim. The conversation will generally be about how "we can launch on time and hit our targets". Touche I say.

2) Why waste a perfectly useful bladder break:
God bless bladder breaks. Sometimes meetings can be a battle between the bladder the speaker. Fortunately, most days the speaker gives in and calls for a bladder break. However, there's always the odd eager beaver who will want to carry on the discussion just as you get poised to aim and shoot. He feels the compulsive need to ask you questions like "How do you think this issue will go down?". Steely silence is what he gets from me.

3) I love spending quality time with my family
Then there are the kinds who will use pee time like tea time. Make a quick call to the wife and the kids. See how they're doing. Ask about whether the maid came in and ironed all the clothes. And if the dog is still constipated. Stop already!

4) Song-birdies
Yep - some people feel the need to sing a song - ideally the birdie song - to urge things along. Use an I-pod I say.

5) The conspiracy theory enthusiasts
These one's are scary. They'll take the corner urinal. Get really close to it and in fact stand more like facing the corner than straight ahead. Kinda like the world is out to get their jewels. Never checked, but I wouldn't be surprised to see a trickle or two down the corner wall!

I think the following simple rules should be posted and enforced by the PeePolice -
1) Please switch off your cell phones, pagers and any other device designed to keep you in touch with the outside world.
2) Do not talk unless General is stuck in the zipper. And even if that's the case, don't talk - just scream! (Just don't expect anyone to help)
3) Wash your hands. If you're not concerned about personal hygene, at least do it when there are other people in the loo. Because they might be working with you and you know how word gets around!!

All in the general interest of the decent pee'ers in general.

Pee-ce out! Biatch!

Vantage Pointless

Watching Vantage Point was a painful experience.

It's like this - some guy got his hands on a story. Wasn't sure what was the best way to shoot it, so he shot it from 8 different perspectives. Put all of those together and created a full length feature out of it in the hope that one of them will go down well with the audience. Unfortunately not.

Directed by Pete Travis (who has made nothing noteworthy and probably never will), it has a pretty solid looking star cast which flatters to deceive - Dennis Quaid (a washed up bodyguard of the American President in a very washed up performance), Forest Whitaker (random American tourist in Spain who looks like a Japanese tourist with his HD Movie Camera and bandies about Spanish in a completely over-acted role), Sigourney Weaver (basically doing nothing but being a bitch for the few micro seconds she's on screen). The movie is about the American President in Spain and facing an assassination attempt followed by many attempted twists and turns via showing the whole story over and over and over again from 8 different people's perspectives.

Basically, it all falls flat and they lived happily ever after. Give it a miss.

Trailer looks slick... don't be fooled by it!

House Haunting

House-hunting, especially in current market conditions, is a bitch. And then some.

First - the inept agent. My first agent (we'll call him/her E) is absolutely useless. E has "serviced" so many folks from my workplace (this just sounds wrong, but I'll keep it there for the fun of it), that she/he completely ignored my simple brief (2 bedder, modern, furnished, west side) and showed me places that other folks from work were moving out of! They were 3 bedders, old, unfurnished and in the north. If she/he was my agency, I'd fire her/him. Oh wait, she/he is my agent. And yes - I fired her/him.

Enter - the ept agent (I know ept is not a word, but it should be - opposite of inept.... come to think of it, it could be outept... but I like ept better and this is my blog... so ept it is). We'll call her/him D. Now D has never "serviced" (I'm enjoying this) anyone from my workplace. She/he took all of 2 viewings and 5 minutes of briefing to understand what I was looking for. About 10-12 apartment viewings later, I saw it. A place that spoke to me. A place that said, come live in me. And above all, a place I could afford in this crazy real estate market. I move in May 1.

There are a few disturbing things about D though. She (ok - i'm over the gender neutrality thing) wants to party with my bald male businessman friend and me at St James Power Station (popular teeny bopper club in Singapore). This is not alarming in itself given how dashing and irresistable the two of us are, but apparently she has a 26 year old daughter (alarm 1) who plays in a band and D thinks I should meet her (alarm 2). Oh and the daughter is also getting married next year (alarm 3). It's all very confusing and disturbing. I need to lie down.

Requiem for a Dream

When a dream comes decisively crashing down, it's one of the hardest things to deal with. This movie is about 4 dreams that 4 different people chase and in the process self destruct.

Requiem for a Dream is an adaptation of the book of the same name by Hubert Selby Jr. Directed by Darren Aronofsky (The Batman Project, The Fountain), it's an Academy Award nominated film (2000) starring Ellen Burstyn (Exorcist, Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood) - playing the widowed mother, Jared Leto (The Thin Red Line, Fight Club) - playing the junkie son, Jennifer Connelly (A Beautiful Mind, Blood Diamond) - his also junkie and artist girlfriend, Marlon Wayans (Above the Rim, Scary Movie series) - their also junkie friend.

The film opens with Sara (the mother) who lives alone, is a TV junkie, loves her food and dreams of one day appearing on TV. She gets her opportunity in the mail and she starts preparing by going on a diet so she can fit into "that red dress". She ends up taking diet pills which are actually an upper (and therefore a diet suppressant). The starts doubling her dosage, hallucinating, taking valium, hallucinating some more, only to end up with psychosis.

The son and his girlfriend, in the meanwhile, are in love and dream of a life together where they open a shop for her to sell her sketches. One small problem. They love their heroin and need a fix every now and again. They go to great lengths to finance this bad habit. They start dealing (with their friend), and when that dries up, she even sleeps with her shrink to score some. When that doesn't work anymore, she even sleeps with another dealer to score some.

The movie climaxes hauntingly with all 4 of their dreams meeting a tragic and decisive end.

The photography is outstanding. The music score is hair-raising. The acting is stellar. But most of all, the directors treatment - especially the devices he uses for drug addiction - is absolutely stunning.

Check out a tralier below:

Thrilla in Manila

For those of you who've been to Manila, you'll know that this place is crazy... way crazier than Singapore but not as crazy as say Bangkok. Leaving your hotel late for a flight is not a good idea. In fact it's very far from a good idea. I think it's what you might call a bad idea. A really bad idea!

It all started last night. Went to the Podium (or Pojioom as the cab driver would have me call it) for dinner. Pojioom is a mall about 5km from my office. But in the evening it should take about 45 mins. Not so bad. Caught up with a long lost old friend who I saw after a gazillion years! Had a couple of coffees, the first of which was weaker than Munaf Patel's throwing arm (if you don't know cricket - just ignore the reference to it.. but read on). For the second one, well, I asked for a strong coffee. And she went around the entire mall and the 3.5 barangays and 2 villages surrounding the mall, found all the caffeine she could find, and pumped it into my coffee. I suspect she also added a dash of red bull in it... just in case.

Headed back to the hotel soon after and was bouncing off the walls while watching FoxCrime (Really cool crime channel!) for about 4 hours!!! Watched Law and Order, CSI NY, PI something and Masterminds! Slept at 4. Now the bad news here was that I had a flight at 8.20am. Needed to wake up at 5.45am. Decided I couldn't go wrong with 3 alarms. It turns out I could.

Yes - I have the ability to turn off 3 different alarms, placed, by careful design, in 3 different parts of the room. And I went back to sleep. Next time I woke up, it was 7.19am! I had 1 hour and 1 minute to my flight. Fortunately I had packed before I slept (not usual for me). So crashed out of the room. Paid my bill. Got into a hotel cab and gave him the promise of a hefty tip if he pulled off a miracle for me.

Got to the airport at 7.50am (thanks to an in-car preview of the formula 1 season that kicks off in Melbourne today - GO FERRARI!). Gave Filippe Massa the tip I'd promised. Crashed through the customary baggage check line before check in. But alas. The counter was closed. I had officially missed my flight.

Now unfortunately, the Manila airport is shit when it comes to spending time there. So I headed back to the hotel and had my breakfast buffet - apple juice, yet another coffee, scrambled eggs, baked beans (watch out SQ afternoon flight!) and toast. Now I'm at the lobby reflecting on my Thrilla in Manila. I wonder what else the day has in store for me!

Juno Reviewed

Rarely do you walk out of a film feeling light, refreshed, optimistic, touched and poignant at the same time. And Juno did that to me.

Oscar nominated and beautifully written, Juno is a dramatic yet comedic portrayal of a 16 year old high school girl who gets pregnant and then deals with it. She has a geeky boyfriend who "tries very hard" to be cool and gets her pregnant in the bargain, a loving father, a rock steady step mother who are all very well written characters. She tries suicide and fails. She tries abortion and fails. She finally settles on finding parents to adopt the baby and she does. Well almost.

The parents she finds are another story altogether. A rich couple - a controlling wife and a really cool, easy-going husband who is in the process of realizing he doesn't want to be in this marriage.

One of the beauties of the way the film is written is that as you go through it, at various points, you expect the plot to end up being just another film.. and then it surprises you.

It's excruciatingly funny as well. The writing is crisp, witty and laugh-out-loud funny without a single slapstick moment through the entire movie.

Oh and I LOVED the soundtrack.

Check out the trailer below:

A Short History of Singapore

Of late I've discovered some really good gems about Singapore on the net. One of them is a blog called www.mrbrown.com. Think of him as a Singaporean Michael Moore. Only funnier.

For anyone outside of Singapore reading this, you might not relate to this easily - so I'm sorry, but for those of you in Singapore..... enjoy this.

Also found this really cool video that captures Singapore history in a short Singlish song!

The Union Square Jazz Quintet

Saw these guys randomly at Union Square subway station in NY and decided to grab a clip. Outstanding musicians.

I hope they get discovered!! :)

Flights of Fancy

Flying east long distance is always an unusually awe inspiring experience. The sun always seems keen to meet you. From the darkness of the night with the twinkling of a few lights 11,000m below you on some obscure island or forgotten city and a yellow jagged moon yawning horizontally at you, to an orange hue appearing on the horizon lighting up one solitary face of the sometimes-rocky-sometimes-covered-in-a-soft-bed-of-fresh-snow Alaskan Range, representing the eagerness of a brand new day, to the bright sunshine - the pomp and glare of high noon - it all happens quickly.

It's a new day. A new start. A new world. A new hope.

No - I haven't gone nuts. Just very inspired by my Executive Economy window seat on SQ22 from Singapore to NY!

The landscape is mind-bogglingly (sic!) beautiful. At sunrise, we're over Alaska, revealing the contrast of jagged, mean-looking rocks and the purity of untouched snow. As the sun gains in strength and permeates everything, we have flat white expanses of what would be beautiful cold blue steel river. The kind you'd expect to see on a postcard from Vermont.

At this point I'm being chided by the stewardess for keeping my window shade open. They want to keep the cabin pitch dark so passengers won't wake up and ask for things!

I still sneak a peek every so often.

The battle between the long beards and short skirts

Sania Mirza (the only Indian female tennis player to have broken into the Top 30 on the ATP tour!) has taken a stand. She is not going to play anymore tournaments in India.

Attagirl! For what it's worth, I'm behind her all the way! She's had enough of the self acclaimed moral police telling her that she's baring too much skin and that she should play with a hijab or a burkha on, failing which, she should be duly punished, which in this case would be pelting her to death with stones (since we're still living in the 12th century.... BC). On top of that she's been embroiled in a controversy about the flag. Only because she had her feet a few feet from it!!!! No one's saying she was stamping all over it like a child that's been denied her candy. She was sitting. Her feet were placed a few feet away from the flag. And effigies were burnt!

For fuck's sake!

She's representing our country! She's the best we've ever had. Her booming forehand has left many more prominent opponents stunned. She could inspire a generation of Indian female tennis players. Leave her be. Nurture talent, don't use it as a platform for your jingoism and cheap publicity.

But this right wing funda-fucking-mentalists are not the only one's to blame. Next up is the media. Switch to any news channel in India (even the "respectable" NDTV), this is their sensational news for the day. They'll run polls, vox-pops, panels and the like asking everyone and a stray dog whether they think Sania's skirt is too short. The fat Gujarati businessman, who probably gets his rocks off watching women's tennis, takes what he thinks is a moral highground and condemns Sania. Another fat aunty gets interviewed on the street while trying to get the poor vegetable vendor to shave 2 Rs off the tomatos she just bought. And she thinks it's not in line with Indian conservatism. Then they have the gall to cut to an interview with some FUCKING religeous expert who claims this is against the will of Allah!!!! WHAT???!!!!!! Allah, I'm sure, has more pressing matters to deal with - like a bunch of lunatics killing in his name! Something tells me he's a tad upset about that.

Who gives a fuck about what a fat Gujarati businessman, the haggling aunty or the dated bearded dude think? None of them have ever played tennis or done anything that would make their parents proud (leave alone an entire nation).

Therein lies the 3rd set of people who're pissing me off. The common man - and thats a big bug-bear to carry. The NDTVs of the world carry this sensation through the day only because people want to hear about this. People revel in other people's misery (Mahogany had a very interesting post about this wrt Britney Spears). Get over it. Get on with your life. Cheer her on and be happy there's someone doing our country proud in sport. And be prouder that it's a woman. Salute her spirit and egg her on. Reject this nonsense from the media.

While all of this goes on - I hope Sania keeps her spunk intact (that sounds so wrong), works on her serve, and more importantly, continues to inspire the next generation of Indian tennis players.

On a separate note - where do effigy burners come from? Who makes the effigies? How do they have the time in the middle of the day to get together and burn an effigy? Don't they need to be at work or something? It could be a great business idea! Effigy makers. 3 hours delivery at a prominent junction anywhere in the country - guaranteed!

Kite Runner - Reviewed

If you've read the book, watch the movie only if you're able to watch it as yet another film (not a book adaptation). If you haven't read the book, watch the movie and THEN read the book.

I'd read the book. But I watched the movie for what it was worth as a film. And I was not disappointed.

Kite Runner is a poignant story about a young Afghan boy who is raised by his rich anti-communist, mustang-driving father in the pre-Russian invasion days (think late 70s, early 80s). They have helpers at home who've worked with them for 2 generations. The child of the helper and this young boy are the deepest of friends until one day, while exercising his loyalty to his friend the poor helper boy gets raped. The rich boy is a silent witness but is afraid to intervene. Plagued with guilt, he cooks up a story to get the helpers driven out of their home so he doesn't have to face up to his guilt of being a silent spectator to an inhuman act on a friend who was standing up for him.

Years go by. The Russians invade Afghanistan, the rich boy grows up and his father grows old in the US. Circumstances bring the rich young boy back to Afghanistan - back home where he is forced to deal with the past he so avoided.

It's a must-read and should-watch.

The cinematography is outstanding. The acting, brilliant. The locales - heart breakingly beautiful (note that the film was shot in China given the security hazards in Afghanistan) and the kite flying scenes - stunning.

Check out the trailer below...

Thank you for the Music!!

There are many universal truths. One of them is that everyone has songs that remind them of a certain someone, a certain occasion, a certain time of life... you can tell the story of your life in songs. With my iPod on and my uber cool sound eliminating Sennheiser headphones cutting me off from my otherwise silent and super cold (thanks to the air con servicemen) study, I was thinking about mine - in songs... this is an excerpt of what I came up with... (warning - embarassing confessions ahead) -

The Early Years...
Two very memorable tunes come to mind - "Rage in the Cage" by the J.Geils Band (1981). My aunt (mum's younger sis) would play this and I'd do one of those crazy uncontrolled and uninhibited jigs that only kids can pull off (when you're a kid is about the only time you can heed the advice - dance like no one's watching). And "D.I.S.C.O"... not the remixed one. The original one - I don't even remember who did it - and it's kinda hard to google it. You can imagine how one might get side-tracked with a search for "DISCO". My uncle (Bob - he prefers being called cousin and does frequent this site) would play this on vinyl back in the day (Sad fact is that I'd be lucky if a lot of people I work with have ever seen a fucking audio cassette!) and I'd get the spelling wrong (I wasn't a very bright kid).

My First "own" music
My brother and I would get a bunch of Sony CF90 blank tapes and record a whole lot of crap on them - over and over again. Including our voices (it's weird how your voice always sounds so bad when played back!... or maybe it's just mine!!). Some of the more memorable tapes had tracks like "The Final Countdown" by Swedish band Eurpoe (1986) and "Axel F", the instrumental piece from Beverly Hills Cop (1984). Briefly, there was also an African Music phase with stuff like "Mori Kante" and "Yeke Yeke" thrown in. But that was more my brother than me!

Puberty Blues Stage
And then the tough years... fur for facial hair, pimples, a cracking voice and other things that generally tend to conincide with puberty! This is when I bought my first 3 pre-recorded tapes, all in 1987 - the La Bamba soundtrack, the Bad album (Michael Jackson) and the Faith album (George Michael). Yes I'm cringing now. At that time, I thought Father Figure was a very raunchy song (won't elaborate on why). Also got into Madonna (Papa don't preach, Back into the Groove etc) and there was a very hot video there that I can't remember (It wasn't the banned Justify My Love - that came later).

The First CDs
We got our first CD player around 1991-92 (I remember we went to Lamington Road in Mumbai paid Rs 15,000 for a Sony 500W PMPO system with a double tape deck and CD player in it). Our first CDs were Snap - World Power, Enigma, Paula Abdul (CRINGE!!!!!!)

Outta School, Into College - the Love Song Phase!
After a brief hiatus where no major musical highlights come to mind, next came college. Just a quick clarification here - in Mumbai, we go to college at 16! I wronged my first real crush (now married, a very dear friend and has the lovliest daughter) in a big way. I kept playing "Please Forgive Me" by Brian Adams... to myself! Then my first girlfriend (think she's getting married soon or just got married). Our song was "Annie's song" by John Denver. Whenever we had a fight (which was wayyyyyyy too often), I'd play this over the phone and we'd be fine... for the next 10 minutes. When I broke up with her, I thought I was going to die. I played "All Outta Love" by Air Supply over and over and over. In hindsight, death might have been easier on me.

Coming into my own....
All this while, in the background I had been exposed to "better" music. My mum is a Beatles fan, my uncles played Abba, BeeGees and other 80s classics (there's no proof better than this that "better" is a relative term indeed!!). Got into the Beatles in a big way. Then into some classic rock - Floyd, Led Zep etc during my years in Calcutta. Comfortably Numb and Creep and Smoke on the Water are 2 songs that will always remind me of the Calcutta daze! Might give you a clue about what went on there!

If you're STILL reading this, take a minute and leave a comment with a song and a memory. The more incriminating, the better! :)

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly - Reviewed

Recently I was having a discussion in a large group where we agreed that a good work of art (including film) is one that moves you. That evokes some emotion. It could be anger, happiness, love, sadness, awe or anything else... but the important thing is that it evokes an emotion.

Tonight I went through one such piece of art. In the form of a movie titled "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly". It's a French film, an adaptation of the memoirs of Jean-Dominique Bauby - former editor of Elle magazine in France who suffered a massive stroke at the age of 43, was paralysed from head to toe, but still managed to write a book with only one functioning eye lid, a vivid imagination and lots of guts.

The film is directed by Julian Schnabel who, reportedly, had to resist the producers who insisted that the film be made in English because he thought it would lose a lot of it's authenticity. Also, Johnny Depp was to star in the lead role. That fell through because of scheduling conflicts with the most recent edition of the "Pirates of the Caribean".

Instead of Hollywood glitz, in the main role he casted prominent French actor-director Mathieu Amalric (who, incidentally, will also be the villain in the next Bond film - "Quantum of Solace". He was fantastic. He played the former editor of Elle magazine, whose life nosedives when he suffers a stroke and turns into a "vegetable". He uses his only eye (the other was sewn up to avoid infection) to communicate via blinking. And that's how he wrote this book. An entire book by blinking his eyelids.

The director is an absolute genius. His visual treatment is amazing - a large chunk of the movie is shown as if from inside Jean-Dominique's head. A lot of movement (like a hand-held camera), in and out of focus, blinks. And then the voice in his head. This guy can't talk, but you're hearing his thoughts (kinda like the baby Look Who's Talking). And he's amazingly funny. While going through all of that, he sees the funny side of things. He's cursing people, mocking their sorrow at his condition and even poking fun at himself.

The director has also done a great job with snippets from his past life as a happy man, his relationship with his ex-wife and kids then and now when they visit him. His relationship with people around him who're helping him in the hospital. All of this has meant truckloads of awards for this film (including best foreign film at the Golden Globes and a nomination for best director at the Oscars).

And the fact that this is a true story will tempt even the most cynical of us to, just for a moment, a fleeting moment, be inspired. Be uplifted. Be put to shame about our everyday squabbles about this, that and everything.

Jean-Dominique Bauby died about a week after his book was published.

The film is currently showing in Singapore. Don't miss it. Please.

The Not-So-Good German

I was asked yesterday by a very intelligent person why all the movie reviews I post are glowing. They're all "FABULOUS" or "A MUST-WATCH!". Well... that's 'cause I don't waste time writing about movies I don't like!..... UNTIL NOW!

The Good German, starring George Clooney (Ocean's 11/12/13, Michael Clayton), Cate Blanchett (LOTR, Babel, The Aviator) and Tobey Maguire (Spiderman series) is directed by the ultimate George Clooney fan - Steven Soderbergh (Ocean's series, Michael Clayton). Soderbergh has experimented with this film by shooting in "Film Noir"... which is a cool way of saying Black & White in 40's crime movie style.

The Good German is set in post war Berlin where George Clooney, a journalist arrives looking for a story. Instead, he meets his ex-secretary-with-benefits (Cate Blanchett), her new boyfriend (Tobey Maguire) who gets killed, her husband who was supposed to be dead and it's all a hash of political conspiracy from there.

Now - the plot outline is engaging enough. Visually, he's been successful in reproducing Film Noir from the 40s. He's paid attention to other details like the poster (the visual here) is a homage to Casablanca and so is the last scene at an airport. So it's pretty and everything.... But he forgot to make the film!

The characters are undercooked... he gets too busy making sure the film looks great and the plot comes together. George Clooney is same old - suave, unflustered, composed - think Oceans 11/12/13, Michael Clayton and any other movie he's ever done. And Tobey is wooden without his spidey costume that covers his facial expressions.... or lack thereof!

Moral of the story - Mere art direction dost not a movie make.

Cate Blanchett is brilliant though.

PS: The intelligent person also told me my spellings suck! So I ran Spell-Check for the first time with this post.

Sweeney Todd - The Johnny Depp show

Watched Sweeney Todd tonight. The movie that just won the Golden Globe for Best Picture and is widely tipped to win the Oscar as well.

It is a FANTASTIC film. Tim Burton, who has to his credit other fantastically weird Johnny Depp films like Edward Scissorhands, Ed Wood, Sleepy Hollow among others, has forayed into musicals for the first time... and he's a genius.

The movie is set in victorian London where men considered long hats, tail coats and carriage rides as run of the mill. Johnny Depp plays the role of Benjamin Barker, a barber who was imprisoned on a false charge by an evil judge (Alan Rickman - Snape in Harry Potter) so that he could get his hands on the barber's wife (which he does). Years later, Benjamin, now known as Sweeney Todd, comes back for revenge. There are a couple of other very interesting twists to the story but won't spoil it for you.

The movie is grand without being Moulin Rouge. It has a haunting score (I think Moulin Rouge and Chicago would be better scores though). But the aspect of the film that took the cake for me was the use of color, light and shadows. It's a dark movie without trying very hard to be (unlike so many other movies - where dark means I need to shoot in low light!).

Johnny Depp it amazing. The man is Jack Sparrow and so so much more! Alan Rickman is amazing as well (at times very Snape-ish in the film).

I doff my hat to whoever wrote the Broadway musical in the first place. Who would've thought of putting a story about a serial killer in a musical format!!!

THIS IS A MUST WATCH!!!!!

Raju plugs the GAP!

Was engaged in a very interesting debate last night... by an englishwoman no less!

The context:
In recent times, there has been outrage in the UK, sparked off by discovery that some Gap (international fashion chain) products had children (in India) at least partly involved in the manufacturing process. The press is up in arms. Righteous and "socially aware" consumers are enraged. There are Anti-Gap (and Anti-other-big-brand) protests calling for both - greater controls by label owners as well as boycotts from responsible consumers. Couple of articles through the links below:
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/world/story/0,,2200573,00.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7066019.stm

Now I say this approach is flawed.

As we would say in marketing - let's start with our consumer... in this case our subject...

A young boy called Raju. He's about 10 and lives in rural UP. His father is a drunk, doesn't have a job and beats up his wife every night. Raju's mother works in the fields nearby and after what her husband steals for alcohol, she has just enough to sustain the family with 2 square meals a day. What chance does Raju have? His mother, deep within, wants him to avail of a very fragile free primary schooling program that the government has in place. But weighed down by the frustration and bitterness of her everyday life, puts him to work instead. There's a textile manufacturing unit located 20km from their village. And they're looking for labour. Very cheap labour. Free market economics apply. Raju's mother needs him to have that job. There are enough Rajus around whose mothers need them to have that job. So these Rajus are cheap. In fact they're so cheap that even after the expense of paying the fat lazy law enforcers to turn a convenient blind eye towards this heinous crime, it's still a great financial proposition for the manufacturer.

Now what would happen to Raju if consumers in London stopped buying stuff that Raju has a hand in making. The brand would either go bust or stop buying from this manufacturer. In either case Raju would lose his job. His family would be more miserable. If he was lucky, he'd get a job somewhere else. If not, he'd be another potential asset lost to his country.

So what's the REAL PROBLEM. There are too many. (1) Lack of a viable social security or welfare system in India so that Raju's family has a viable way or getting out of their dark spiral, (2) Corruption... where the fat policeman condemns this child to abject working conditions when he should be learning math... all for a few rupees (then again - this fat policeman has his own problems and reasons for doing what he's doing.... but that's a story for another day).

Don't stop buying what Raju is making. At least not until India finds a better way of getting him out of his misery.

Sexy Lucia

Over the last few days I have been watching a film called Sex and Lucia in installments. Installments because I've been watching it on my laptop on flights, at airport lounges, in my hotel room and so on.

At the outset, I wouldn't blame you for wondering what I'm doing reviewing porn here. Sex and Lucia is NOT PORN! It is a very intense Spanish film by Julio Medem (a very significant Spanish director) and features Paz Vega (very very hot - also starred in a serial that was billed as the Spanish "Friends") in the lead role as Lucia.

Now... the film is about Lucia (a waitress), her boyfriend (Lorenzo), a girl he had a one night stand with (Elena), their daughter from that one night stand (Luna) and her baby sitter (Belen). The film opens on the one night stand that Lorenzo and Elena had (at this point I'm thinking.... porn). And then the plot thickens. Elena has Lorenzo's baby. Lorenzo is a writer and is in Madrid and has no clue. Lucia and he are totally in love with each other (he met Lucia after that one night stand with Elena). Eventually, an interesting turn of events leads Lorenzo to discover that he has a daughter called Luna. He finds her and gets to spend time with her by getting on with her baby-sitter, Belen. Somehow, he ends up responsible for his own 4 year old daughter's death. From there the movie spins to a fantastic climax with Lorenzo being depressed and attempting suicide. Elena and Lucia meeting by some strange coincidence and believing that Lorenzo is dead. And then finally the return of Lorenzo to their lives.

It's an intensely intricate plot. It's beautifully shot. Poetically told.

Paz won a Goya (Spanish version of the Oscar) for Best Actress apart from the film also winning for Best Original Score and having 10 other nominations in 2001. Also won 3 awards at the Seattle International Film Festival, including Best Director.

I have the DVD if you want to borrow.

T3... ho hum!!!

The much touted Singapore Changi Airport Terminal 3 has opened up amidst much fanfare. I was one of the "privilaged" Day 1 passengers at the terminal (my flight back from KL landed in the new T3).

Firstly - what's the big deal about T3? I'm not sure really. It's just a big big happening in Singapore!! For background, the last terminal opened in Changi was the Budget Terminal a couple of years ago. It's for those cheapskates who don't want to pay their whole airfare. They want cheap cheap. Anyway - there was so much fanfare around this that they ran a national contest to name the terminal. The question that appeared on the front page of Straits Times was "What should the new Budget Terminal be named?". 4 weeks later a winning entry was announced. The winner was Alec Smart (real name will not be disclosed to protect the identitiy of the perpetrator). His entry - BUDGET TERMINAL! "Budget terminal" was the winning entry in a contest to name the FUCKING budget terminal!!! How fucking stupid is that!!!

Thankfully they stayed away from this kinda stunt for T3. They had T1. Then a cooler, more expensive T2. Then they pulled up this 3rd terminal, they thought long and hard, even considered a contest - an international one this time - but then, very wisely might I add, they settled on T3.

So I landed in T3 on the 9th of Jan. And I thought it was very very ordinary.

Firstly - Our plane happily taxied around for a good 20 minutes. And it was stop start. It was like driving through Orchard in a sea of crazy Chinese lady drivers juggling shopping bags and cell phones on a not so idle Sunday afternoon. Not that I was driving in this case, but you get the drift! This in turn had a very interesting impact on the general diaspora on the flight. Everytime we had a stop (in the context of the stop-start taxi-ing), about 14 people in my immediate vicinity felt the need to stand and open the overhead compartments. Only to be jerked back into their seats the next minute. It got tiresome after it happened 3 times. Got kinda old.

Then - they replicated some of the disasters of Manila and Mumbai. When you get out of your flight you walk right across the paths of some other flight boarding. Mass confusion ensues. Some people boarding a flight get swayed by the crowd and end up at baggage collection wondering what a quick trip they had. Others who've just gotten off their flight find themselves accosted onto another flight headed to Malta or Mogadishu or Mozambique for crying out loud!

Then, when you finally battle your way to baggage reclaim, there's no baggage there. I'd put this down to teething trouble, but Singapore teaches you to expect perfection the first time and everytime thereafter. Our baggage came in only after half an hour. During this time, I made friends with the nose-digging aunty who was sitting next to me through the flight. She spoke excellent Singlish (a language I love) and was complaining about the government while looking for nasal treasures. Very pleasing.

After that, I had to head back to the T2 carpark (coz I'd kinda parked my car there - I know that was obvious, but just wanted to be safe!). This was a trek and then some! Trudged to the other end of T3 for the skytrain. This in itself was an unusually bumpy ride. These monorail thingies are meant to be quite smooth and quiet. This one wasn't. Got to T2 - but the wrong end of it. Trekked all the way to the other end to finally get into my car and get out of there.

All in all, painful. Didn't quite get how this was better than T2 or any other airport terminal I've ever been in etc etc! But then again, I headed to Manila yesterday and it made me like T3 just a touch more.

Day 12 - It's a wrap!

It has been a brilliant trip.

Except for how the Sydney test ended. I was on my way out of Sydney when I heard the commentary in the cab on the way to the airport and on TV in the lounge before boarding. Just before I boarded, we still had about 45 overs to bat with 5 wickets in hand. Was always going to be touch and go.

But it shouldn't have been. Once again, the umpires bailed out the Aussies. This time Rahul Dravid was given caught behind by Bucknor when replays clearly showed it was off the pads. Ganguly was given out to a catch which was not clean. And both of them were well on their way to save the day for India.

We went on to lose the test match in the most dramatic fashion - 3 wickets in 5 balls of the penultimate over bowled by Michael Clarke wrapped things up. No - I won't criticize the last 3 Indian batsmen. You can't expect 9-10-11 to save a game your top 8 couldn't.

Even the forecasted rain didn't rescue India.

On top of all of this, Bhajji has been banned for 3 Tests. He is denying these quite vehemently.

THE UMPIRES screwed with India. They cost us about 250 runs (Symonds and Ponting in the first innings and Hussey in the second innings) and heaven knows how much more (Dravid and Ganguly). This time, bad decisions have well and truly changed the result of the game. India would have won this in 4 days had the decisions been correct.

Oh well - they're gonna argue about the umpires and about the alleged racist comments from Bhajji and everything else. I'm off to KL as soon as I land in Singapore and then Manila the following week.

I owe, I owe, so off to work I go.

Day 11 - Party Poopers

3 things are ruining a very promising test match -
1) The rain. Intermittent showers played havoc with the game. The ground staff did a fantastic job of getting in as much play as possible, but we probably lost about 15 - 20 overs to rain through the day.

2) The Umpires - Both, Mark Benson as well as Steve Bucknor have had very bad games. Two clear caught behind appeals were turned down. One of Symonds in the first innings. Hussey in this one. Both, game changing decisions. It's possible India would have won in 4 days had these been given out.

3) The Aussies - In a surprising turn of events, just when everyone was expecting our hosts to step on the accelerator and put up a challenging target for India while giving themselves enough time to bowl us out, they clam up and play very defensive cricket. Almost like they were playing for a draw. Very un-Aussie.

Hopefully it won't rain tomorrow, the umps stay in line and the Aussie's start to make more of a game out of this!

Day 10 - A gem to behold

The trip has been worth it. Everyone's hero - Sachin - scored a ton. And what a brilliant one it was. It was a privilage to watch this innings at the ground. Thank you Sachin. In fact, it was so good, we watched the 2 hour highlight package on TV later in the evening.

Strokeful yet controlled. Aggressive yet staunch in defense.Cheeky yet straight out of the copybook. He also played an instrumental role in goading Bhajji to a bashful 60 and thus overhauling Australia's massive total. His celebration when he got to his 100 was a sight to behold. A befittingly resounding standing ovation from the 30,000 people at the SCG providing the soundtrack to what was a spectacular visual feast. It was like a film where the comedian (in this case Bhajji), cuts into that emotionally packed moment like a pesky fly and gives Sachin the biggest hug since Munnabhai's "jaadu ki jhappi" (magic hug).

Bhajji played his own brand of cricket. Starting off as if we was ploughing his fields in Punjab, but then settling in to blast crucial runs.

With 2 days to go, this is anyone's test. Australia could come out and score some quick runs and put India in by the end of the day. Bhajji and Kumble could have them in a web and have them all out for 200. Or it could rain (which is in the weather forecast for the next 2 days).

This promises to be a cracker and a great climax to a great trip.

One last noteworthy point. We're in this test match because of the old guard - Sachin, Saurav, Rahul and Laxman. Yuvi and Dhoni have scored all of 30 runs between them on the tour so far. But they've gotta come good. And soon.

Day 9 - In with a shot

Ok... This one will be short and sweet.

The cricket - we did well. Dravid played for a typically gritty 50 (but he does need to get a move on sometimes), Laxman played one of his beauties that he always saves for Australia. Unfortunately, we lost both of them to bad shots towards the end of the day. We need Sachin and Ganguly to stick in there if we're going to overhaul the Aussie total. At least there's a fight happening.

In other highlights... Vikas stole my memory chip for the camera and left it at home (the prick), we went shopping where Lal and I bought pointy shoes and Vikas bought all of Bondi Junction and lastly, dinner at a pub called the Australian - great Pizzas!

Hopefully more good news from the cricket tomorrow.

Day 8 - So near yet so far

The first day of the test. This was going to be the test of India's mettle.

And start off well we did. Half way through the day we had the best test team on the ropes at 130 odd for 6. And then Symonds and Hogg took charge and took them close to 400 for 7.

Now it's not that they got stuck in that bothers me. It's some of the other issues that seem to be surrounding the Indian team that are bothering me. They don't behave like a team... Leave alone a tight, well-oiled unit that a top professional side should be. A few instances...

1) Yuvraj clearly has a problem with the rest of the guys. He didn't join in most wicket celebrations. He looked disinterested and aloof through the day. Was rolling the ball in from the boundary only half way to the bowler.

2) Practise before play was a mess. People milling about. Missing catches. Laughing and joking in small groups. The Australians were at the other end of the field in all their intensity.

3) Fitness is a major issue. I'll say no more on that.

4) Younger players like Ishant need to learn to deal with disappointment. When his appeal was turned down (wrongfully so), he was like a petulant child kicking the ground and complaining (everything short of refusing to bowl). Just get back to your mark and get him out again you mutt!

All in all, it's a combination of super divas in the team, lack of fitness or even an attitude to get there and just basic pride in playing as a team for your country missing.

I don't know if we'll win this test, but we're certainly nowhere close to being a great team. A lot of this may be more apparent when you see the team at the ground rather than on the tele.

One bright spark is Sachin. Even after all these years at this level, the man revers the game and hasn't gotten too big for it. He focuses on the fundamentals and gets them right. If we had 11 players with his attitude (not necessarily his talent), this team would be achieving great things.

Oh well.

We also did head out for drinks at Double Bay with AC and a bunch of others... That was fun. More alco! Which brings me to the t'shirt Lal is wearing right now... "The liver is evil. It must be punished"!!!

Day 8 - So near yet so far

The first day of the test. This was going to be the test of India's mettle.

And start off well we did. Half way through the day we had the best test team on the ropes at 130 odd for 6. And then Symonds and Hogg took charge and took them close to 400 for 7.

Now it's not that they got stuck in that bothers me. It's some of the other issues that seem to be surrounding the Indian team that are bothering me. They don't behave like a team... Leave alone a tight, well-oiled unit that a top professional side should be. A few instances...

1) Yuvraj clearly has a problem with the rest of the guys. He didn't join in most wicket celebrations. He looked disinterested and aloof through the day. Was rolling the ball in from the boundary only half way to the bowler.

2) Practise before play was a mess. People milling about. Missing catches. Laughing and joking in small groups. The Australians were at the other end of the field in all their intensity.

3) Fitness is a major issue. I'll say no more on that.

4) Younger players like Ishant need to learn to deal with disappointment. When his appeal was turned down (wrongfully so), he was like a petulant child kicking the ground and complaining (everything short of refusing to bowl). Just get back to your mark and get him out again you mutt!

All in all, it's a combination of super divas in the team, lack of fitness or even an attitude to get there and just basic pride in playing as a team for your country missing.

I don't know if we'll win this test, but we're certainly nowhere close to being a great team. A lot of this may be more apparent when you see the team at the ground rather than on the tele.

One bright spark is Sachin. Even after all these years at this level, the man revers the game and hasn't gotten too big for it. He focuses on the fundamentals and gets them right. If we had 11 players with his attitude (not necessarily his talent), this team would be achieving great things.

Oh well.

We also did head out for drinks at Double Bay with AC and a bunch of others... That was fun. More alco! Which brings me to the t'shirt Lal is wearing right now... "The liver is evil. It must be punished"!!!

Day 7 - Lazing in Sydney

NOTE THAT I'VE UPDATED SOME PHOTOS IN PAST ENTRIES

Today was "recovery day".

We woke up late after a big NYE night! Walked to Darling Harbour for a great lunch mainly consisting of seafood fare. Took the monorail to Pitt Street from there to check if the shops would be open. In true Aussie fashion, they weren't. So we just walked to the Opera House, around to Maquarie's Chair (which happens to be the only spot (on land) from where you can photograph the Opera House, the Harbour Bridge and the Sunset in the one frame). Took some pictures from there (for the millionth time). Walked back to the Opera House and sipped on some Mojito's at the Opera Bar (probably my favorite bar in the world!!).



Had had enough of walking by then, so cabbed back to Chinatown for a fab Korean dinner. I stuck to a fairly basic meal while the rest of the boys experimented with some spicy hot-pot soup style stuff. The consensus was that there might be a holocaust of sorts in their room tonight... (did I mention I was glad to be on the couch!!!).

Ended the night with a light round of Poker.

Over to cricket tomorrow. SCG - a ground we've done fairly well at. However, if our performance is anything like in Melbourne, we have another think coming. Before the match itself there are a couple of things pissing me off...

1) On the news here tonight, they mentioned that word from the Indian camp is that we're going to stick to the same line up.... GOD HELP US!!! Also Zaheer has an injury scare... GOD REALLY HELP US!!!!

2) They showed some video shots of both teams going through their drills. The Aussie team looked focused and intense in their practices. Everyone was running about, looking involved and serious. On the other hand, the shots of the Indians showed the following - (a) Ganguly dropping a skier, (b) Karthik missing the stumps from 10m away, (c) I-don't-know-who misfielding, (d) Other players milling around, catching up on the latest gossip and so on.

3) Harbhajan has made another foot in the mouth statement. He claims he has Ponting's number. The last thing we want is to get Ponting any more determined than he already is to do well in the Sydney test!

4) Lalchand Rajput has made a statement that there's a problem with Yuvraj's attitude... GIVE ME A BREAK.... You're the fucking team manager. Handle team issues within the fucking team!!!!

These are things that make me feel like even in the unlikely event that we go on to win the test, we're not poised to be a great team in the foreseeable future. What's particularly sad about that is the fact that in the past 10 odd years, we've had 4 of the world's top 10 test batsmen in our team, but we haven't achieved anything bar a marginally improved away record (which, by the way, is driven by our bowling and what's more, our home record has slipped a bit - so go figure!).

But then it's the new year... we should be expecting new things I suppose???? Spoken more in hope than in conviction.

Day 6 - New year... on the rocks!

Wishing everyone a very very happy new year! Hopefully some of your biggest wishes will come true in the coming year (let's face it... Not everything will come through for you)...

Personally I'm really looking forward to 2008. I smell change. And that's always a good thing.

But with regards to more pressing matters, after getting to Sydney last night (30th), we slept in and got out only at 3pm for a very late brunch followed by shopping. I love shopping in this country because it's one of the few places in the world I feel normal in terms of sizes. I actually have the luxury of choice with clothes and shoes. The downside is that things are bloody expensive!!!

After spending the afternoon at Pitt Street (where we met Venkatesh Prasad who said "the boys are raring to go!!!"), we headed back to our apartment before heading out again for NYE celebrations.



And what a celebration it was!!! The city was pretty much closed to traffic and hundreds of thousands of revellers (us among them) congregated at vantage points around the harbour to watch the annual Sydney NYE fireworks. We watched it from the Rocks (art district of Sydney) where the pubs were open and everyone was out on the streets. It was beautiful and vibrant... Also sometimes rowdy. But always under control.



Something like this would've been impossible in India or the Philippines or even in Singapore... all elitist societies where the social gap between the rich and poor is ridiculously drastic. The well off don't want to be seen shoulder to shoulder with the not so well off. It was entirely different here. Refreshing!

After the midnight fireworks, we headed to a bar in the city itself and spent a couple of hours there.

All in all, a fantastic night. And the fact that I'm posting this before sleeping is testament to my sobriety!

Happy new year from Sydney folks!!